first-2
10:17 p.m.<>2001-04-24

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my first time, continued...

jean and i both jumped at the harsh tone of the doorbell. 'perfect timing,' she breathed, with a rueful smile and a roll of her eyes. she rose from the sofa to answer the door. i stayed behind for a few moments, desperately willing the hardness between my legs to subside so as to avoid any awkwardness when i met ed and kim.

jean's friends were pleasant, at ease with each other in the manner of two people who had been together for some time. after introductions were made and beers were opened, we trooped into the living room to watch the movie they had brought. ed and kim stretched out on the floor in front of the tv, while jean and i resumed our places on the couch behind them.

the movie was execrable. some type of comedic thriller with dennis quaid, replete with big explosions and bad puns. even had it been the best film ever made, though, i wouldn't have remembered much of it. i was too conscious of jean's soft body leaning against me on the couch. occasionally, when her friends weren't looking, she would give me little signs to indicate that she was interested in picking up where we had left off earlier. i felt her hand move up and down on my denim-covered thigh, felt her wiggle closer to me so she could rest her head on my shoulder. emboldened by this, i tentatively raised my hand to her breast and stroked it with my thumb. she responded to this by quickly taking my left earlobe between her teeth and sucking on it gently. i had to stifle a moan.

in my aroused condition, the movie seemed to go on forever, and i actually began to despair that it would never end, that the whole evening was some sort of cosmic tease designed to leave me frustrated for eternity. fortunately, however, the film ended, and jean and i jumped up to extricate ourselves from the overheated, uncomfortable tangle we had become on the couch. ed and kim seemed to sense that we wanted to be left alone, because they said there goodbyes after a minimum of small talk. i don't think i had ever felt such gratitude toward two people in my entire life as i did when ed and kim finally left.

jean shut the door and turned around to face me. she flashed me a lopsided, toothy grin that I had found endearing even before i found out her name. 'now where were we?' she asked.

i drew her close and kissed her by way of response, an evening's worth of pent-up hunger rushing out as my lips sought hers. she seemed to feel the same urgency, because her fingers went immediately to my vest, sliding it off my shoulders before she began to tug at the hem of my shirt. i landed kisses on her cheeks, her neck. i tugged the collar of her t-shirt aside and ran my lips and tongue in the hollow of her collarbone. my hands were everywhere in my eagerness and inexperience, skimming across her breasts, her thighs, her ass.

jean broke our embrace suddenly. 'let's go upstairs,' she panted. as she led the way to her bedroom, i took the opportunity to run my hands up under the hem of her skirt, as if i simply couldn't bear to be out of physical contact with her body. with a thrill of equal parts excitment and revulsion, i found my earlier question as i felt the downy hair on her shins.

jean didn't bother to turn on the lights in her bedroom. i later discovered that she would only make love in the dark, a fact that would caus some tension in our sex life over the coming months. that night, though, all i could think about was the feel and fragrance of her body, and the nervous churning in my stomach. for although i had 'fooled around' with girls in the past, i had never actually 'done it'. there was no way my male pride was going to let jean know that, however. (she told me later that she had suspected i was a virgin, which made my male pride go all wilty) i had some performance anxiety, because i didn't want to embarrass myself, and i wanted to the experience worth jean's while, as well.

we spent a lot of time on foreplay. now that the night was ours at last, we were able to slow things down a bit. jean pulled off her t-shirt and stepped out of her skirt, her voluptous figure pale in the dim light of her room. i can't adequately describe the amazing feeling of her naked body sliding onto the bed against mine, her full breasts flattening against my chest as i stretched out on top of her. i covered her body with kisses from head to toe, and she returned the favor after i had finished. our hands skimmed the planes and curves of each others' bodies tenderly, our finger alighting delicately on a nipple, a spine, the back of a knee. her fingers wrapped around my shaft and i groaned, just as she did when my fingers found the dark, moist cleft between her legs.

not that the evening was perfect, by any means. she grabbed my wrist and asked me not to stroke her quite so roughly. i was slightly put off by her smell, pungent and earthy, when i went to lick her. and, as is most likely the case with all males their first few times, i climaxed far too soon and was ashamed by my lack of control.

but still, god. the feeling of her mouth sliding hotly around me, making me raise my hips and grit my teeth. the sound of her soft moans when i finally got the strokes just right. the deliciously spongy feel of her breasts when i caressed them, their hard nipples scraping my palms. the way she stiffened and shuddered when she came. having heard other people's accounts of their own first times, i have to say that mine has to rank with one of the best.

jean and i dated for six months after that night. when she broke up with me, she told me that she had found someone else. i felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach, and i must confess that it took me a long time for the hurt to subside. but now, years later, i'm left only with a feeling of gratitude to her for making my first time special, rather than the disaster i could have so easily turned it into.

so here's to you, 'jean', wherever you are. i hope you're doing well.

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